Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have fence marks all over my body
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
True strength comes from lack of pants
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
