I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize