you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize