ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
