Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
