i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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