He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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