Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
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You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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