Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
