Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
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Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
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