Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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