After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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