omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize