I can text with my tongue
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
