I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
