Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
