i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize