Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize