It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
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Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
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he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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