Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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