i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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