I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
