bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize