I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
