and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm getting married
To pizza
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
