Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
