I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
This baby is an asshole
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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