gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Damn victory sex feels great
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
