YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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