ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
