Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
