God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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