Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
