So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
pray to the hookup gods
Ladies don't puke and tell
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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