gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
