Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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