even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
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Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
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I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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