There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
this will be a night to untag.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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