Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
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I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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