ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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