Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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