oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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