He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
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I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
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Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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