dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
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Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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