Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize