You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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