She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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