Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
