Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?

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(805): i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns? http://tfl.nu/p7xv

Replies (5) Good night (726) Bad night (2072)
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(650): View more from California

Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___

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(650): Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___ http://tfl.nu/djlq

Replies (4) Good night (679) Bad night (1197)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.

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(712): Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood. http://tfl.nu/9bbv

Replies (10) Good night (1564) Bad night (528)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

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(847): I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it" http://tfl.nu/8m3i

Replies (34) Good night (1024) Bad night (3528)
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(574): View more from Indiana

So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.

(574): View more from Indiana

Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.

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(574): So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap. (574): Side Note: My mute button doesn't work. http://tfl.nu/2spl

Replies (10) Good night (704) Bad night (3685)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face

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(860): Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face http://tfl.nu/cojx

Replies (60) Good night (1779) Bad night (7571)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.

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(920): So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again. http://tfl.nu/54yy

Replies (18) Good night (1952) Bad night (6248)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.

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(262): yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him. http://tfl.nu/mcsp

Replies (18) Good night (1148) Bad night (4392)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".

(781): View more from Massachusetts

It was only one, it doesn't count.

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(978): I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES". (781): It was only one, it doesn't count. http://tfl.nu/lfgz

Replies (30) Good night (1368) Bad night (4067)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong

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(575): If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong http://tfl.nu/8y01

Replies (12) Good night (758) Bad night (5007)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.

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(740): I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago. http://tfl.nu/bvjh

Replies (5) Good night (3298) Bad night (987)
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(416): View more from Toronto

You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.

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(416): You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it. http://tfl.nu/a4tp

Replies (6) Good night (2949) Bad night (1212)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.

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(570): Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days. http://tfl.nu/pn6d

Replies (4) Good night (1141) Bad night (537)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos

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(812): I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos http://tfl.nu/whu2

Replies (13) Good night (1028) Bad night (678)
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(801): View more from Utah

I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.

(1-801): View more from Utah

20.

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(801): I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day. (1-801): 20. http://tfl.nu/vqhd

Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (202)

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