So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.