like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
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I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
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The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.