FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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