I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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